Leaving Normal
by Ice Princess3
Summary: One night changes Hermione Granger forever leading her to a place she never thought she'd be. Will her friends be able to save her and will she let them? A darker R/H story.
1. Prologue: Empty Shell

Disclaimer: I don't own anything it all belongs to the talented J.K. Rowling, and the title it from a Roswell episode. The title chapter is from the song "Sullen Girl" by Fiona Apple.

A/N: I'm nervous about this cause this is my first real HP fic. I'm trying to make sure everything matches up with the books but if you see any mistakes please let me know. Feedback would be worshipped. Constructive criticism is welcome but please make sure it is constructive. So please review and let me know if anyone is reading this, thanks a lot. I hope you enjoy.

Leaving Normal…

Prologue: "_And he took my pearl/ And left an empty shell of me…"_

            Looking back, she realized that it only really took one moment; one hastily made decision, one night—to change a person's life. To change a person. Irrevocably. 

            Something like this wasn't supposed to happen to a girl like her.  A good girl. A smart girl. A witch. Reputedly one of the smartest witches Hogwarts has even seen, and a formidable enemy because of that. Her world was at war, though it might not fully acknowledge it yet. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had come and back and almost killed one of her best friends. And yet—it didn't matter. Not now. Not after that night. 

            It had been foolish, she realized that now, but it was too late to take it back. It was two weeks before the school term was supposed to start. The next day she was going to the Burrow as usual, and she was nervous, she had spent a lot of the summer worrying about the boys in her life. Secretly she thought of them as her boys, Harry and Ron. They were her best friends but those two words couldn't even begin to describe their complex relationship. So she had gone out late at night for a walk, walking had always helped her clear her head. 

            It was just after midnight and the moon shone brightly. Hermione was walking in a park just a few blocks from her house. It was a park where she had played as a child. It had always been a safe place to her, a place that held innocence in the air. 

            But not any longer.

            She was sitting on bench daydreaming when she heard a twig snap behind her.  Her hand went automatically for her wand but found it wasn't there. Of course it wasn't there. She was at home and an underage witch not allowed to practice magic outside of school. Of course she didn't have her wand. 

            And then it happened. She fought, fought as hard as she could, in the days coming she would look at the bruises on her body as proof. Proof that she had tried. But she failed.

            Hermione Granger had failed. 

            Hermione Granger had been raped. 


	2. Chapter One: Hide Inside Yourself

Disclaimer: Apparently my meager earnings aren't enough to buy publishing rights to this so it's all J.K. Rowling. Title song is "All Eyes On Me" by the Goo-Goo Dolls.

A/N: I know these chapters are short. The next ones will be longer. Feedback does encourage me and makes me write faster * wink wink * lol. 

Chapter One: _"You hide inside yourself/And I wondered what you're thinking…"_

Ron Weasly came stumbling into the kitchen wearing his boxers and his favorite old Chudley Cannons t-shirt. He collapsed into his seat next to his bleary eyed sister.  His mom was bustling around the kitchen; he was always amazed and slightly irritated by her early morning energy and cheer. None of her children had inherited that each and every one of them were notoriously grumpy in the morning. So when Pig came swooping in he just tried to avoid the feathered disaster.

            "Ronald Weasly!" scolded his mother. "Will you please take care of that animal?"

            "Yes mum." He grunted as he grabbed the hooting owl and unrolled the parchment wrapped on his leg. 

            It was from Hermione. He had expected this cause they were going to go pick her up today and Hermione being well—Hermione always needed to double check times and such. But what was inside surprised him. The letter read:

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Weasly and family,

                        Hello, this Hermione's mother Elizabeth. Hermione has fallen ill and will not be able to visit with you this summer. She sends her regrets. I'm sorry if this causes any inconvenience. She also says not to write now because she is too ill to answer any letters. Thank you again for your hospitality, my daughter speaks very highly of all of you. 

            Yours truly,

                                    The Granger family

            "Ron, what is it?" asked Ginny as she took in Ron's dazed expression.

            Ron shook his head as if trying to shake his thoughts into place. His mother was also watching him with a questioning gaze. "It's Hermione. She's sick and not coming."

            "Oh the poor dear." Clucked Mrs. Weasly sympathetically. "What's the matter with her?"

            "That's the weird thing. Her mom didn't say. And Hermione didn't even write this. And she says that we shouldn't write to her either cause she's sick." Ron continued. 

            "Well if she's really sick…" trailed off Ginny.

            "I guess." Ron said sounding unconvinced. "It's just odd."

            "You'll see her when school begins." Encouraged his mum. Molly knew that Ron had a crush on Hermione, even if her son didn't fully realize it yet, and she suspected Hermione returned his feelings. "Is your room clean? Harry's going to be here in an hour or so."

            Ron tried to fight off the tell tale blush of guilt. 

            "Ronald Arthur Weasly!"

            "Mum, Harry's like family. I don't _need _to clean for him."

            "Harry is family and yes you do need to clean for him. Get up there now! Or you'll be degnoming the garden for the next two weeks!" Molly threatened. 

            "Yes Mum." Ron echoed dully as he slunk upstairs.

            The next two weeks for Hermione were a blur. It was as if she was detached from her body, as if she was watching some other girl, some other girl go through all this. The doctors, the police, her parents—the questions and the ugly answers were all dealt with by some other girl. The real Hermione was locked somewhere deep inside, hiding. 

            The bruises were fading and so was she. She tried as hard as she could to resume her normal life. She poured over her textbooks but her concentration was broken. She was broken. She knew her parents were worried and angry. But they didn't want her to know how angry they were that this happened to her. But she had made it perfectly clear she didn't want to talk about it.

            She wanted to forget. She wanted to pretend that she was that same girl who went for what she thought would be a harmless walk. So she did pretend. She said all the right things to the therapist she was made to see, she convinced everyone that she was recovering. 

            It was a lie. Of course it was. Something was taken from her—something more than her virginity. Her innocence. Funny cause she thought she had left her naive world views behind when she faced Voledmort with Harry. But she didn't—not really.

            Cause somewhere in her mind it was still a bit of a fantasy being a witch and dealing with dark wizard bent of the obliteration of muggles and plans of world domination. It sounded like something on _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. And while she knew it was real, that Voledmort was back, the rape was somehow more real. 

            It was this act of violence committed in the muggle world. A world she thought she was distant from, one that she was safe in. 

            How wrong she had been. It was here she was hurt. Here she became another statistic. Another girl in the wrong place at the wrong time. They weren't after her cause she was muggle born or Harry Potter's best friend. No…she had foolishly thought that those things couldn't touch her, it happened to regular people on the news, not Hermione Granger, Hogwarts student. 

            But it had happened to her and tomorrow she was going back to Hogwarts…and she had no idea how she was going to cope with everything. She just wanted to get back to normal. 

            Ron and Harry waited outside the Hogwarts Express each searching the crowd for their bushy haired best friend. It was almost time for them to leave and still no Hermione. They hadn't heard anything from her since her parents owled them two weeks ago. And while they were naturally worried about their friend they didn't spend too much time dwelling on it. Instead they spent most of their free time practicing quidditch in the backyard. Ron was hoping to make the team this year. But the more time that passed at the station the more anxious the two boys became. 

            "It's not like Hermione to be late." Ron said looking to Harry who nodded in agreement. "You don't think that she's not coming, do you?"

            Harry shook his head. "Nah, I mean this is Hermione. It would take more than some illness to make her miss school."

            "But what if she's really sick?"

            "Don't you think she would have let us know if it was something that serious?" Harry asked although the more he thought about it the more worried he got. Wouldn't Hermione tell them if something was wrong?

            "I suppose." Ron answered but his voice lacked conviction. He craned his head around a group of nervous first years and their parents and he finally saw whom he was waiting for. "There she is!" he exclaimed motioning to Harry.

            Hermione walked slowly towards her two best friends. She forced a smile on her face but every nerve inside her was screaming that she should run in the other direction. She was terrified; she had no idea how to tell them, if she should tell them. 

            Ron was smiling broadly but as she got closer his smile began to fade. She looked awful. Her muggle clothes hung on her; she had lost a great deal of weight since he had last seen her. She was pale despite it being summer and her usually wild hair was limp and pulled back from her wan face. This wasn't the Hermione he was used to. He had expected her to come running at them talking a mile a minute, give them one of her bone crushing hugs that they both pretended to hate, and then start to lecture about the schoolwork they didn't do. That was normal, this wasn't.

            Harry had similar thoughts running through his mind but raised his hand in greeting. "Hermione, hi. How are you feeling?"

            She smiled, a genuine smile, at his quiet concern. And then glared at Ron's not so quiet concern.

            "Blimey Hermione! You look awful. Are you still sick?" he practically shouted. 

            "Thanks a lot Ron. Every girl longs to hear she looks awful."

            Harry rolled his eyes, not even five minutes had passed, and they were off and running.

            "Well look at you, you're too thin and you look like you haven't slept in weeks. Like you did when—hey are you using a time-turner again?"

            "No! I'm just—" she faltered for a moment "recovering from my illness."

            Harry decided it was time to step in as peacemaker. Ron's ears were going red and Hermione looked really to collapse. 

            "C'mon guys lets get on the train before it leaves without us. Alright then?"

            Ron nodded. "Right. Hermione let me help you with your trunk." 

            She smiled and agreed she knew it was as close to an apology as she was going to get from him. And it was enough. So they boarded the train and began the journey to Hogwarts and the beginning of their sixth year. 


End file.
